Last Updated
Oct 29, 2003

For
Suggestions
and Feedback
contact
Webmaster

Click here to download ALL issues
of The Observer in Microsoft Word format

The nerds are on the move these days. Only this week it came to the notice of the office bearers of IIPS Observer, through one of the countless contacts and sources, that the nerd of the century has been spotted in some Pleasure Nagar in Outdore. He is pursuing a part time course in computers at IIPS which he attends full time during his spare time. A look at him and you know he is a god gifted nerd what with a face that can substitute the mouse, a brain that can substitue the CPU, eyes large enough to be the monitor besides the other obvious things.

He was born on the 8th of December 1976. His first words are legendary and are a part of the cyber folklore. When asked to call "PaPa" he uttered "POP3" which started the revolution that we call the Post Office Protocol. The next word that he uttered was "Nerd" when he was shown a bird. Since then the word nerd has become popular. From childhood itself he liked the game of cat and mouse.

His life in IIPS has been electric and sparkling to say the least. During the first year itself he used to perform some secret experiments in the IIPS lab late in the night when no one was around. Then the results started to flow. Like one day he thought of an interesting experiment, and connected his CPU to the mains. The rest was a flash (and lots of smoke). The impact of this loss left him speechless for five days in which he did not eat a single grain of food. Then he decided to work and earn money to get his CPU repaired. He approached his special contact a Taxi Driver ( some Jamai Raja of Outdore) and got a job to teach C. He began teaching the kids recursion with "To understand recursion, we must first understand recursion....". By the way every single student phailed (now where have we heard that before?) in that batch. They just couldn't match the bandwidth of a Techno Nerd.

But being Nerd has its own disadvantages. His affinity to computers made him weak with the weaker sex. In fact his chemistry with computers was so strong that his Pooja could not bring Anand in his life.Sitting on computers daily for hours and you are bound to have a paunch. During one of his routine checkups, the doctor told him that he had to reduce some fat real fast. That day when he went home, he worked for nearly 3 hours and lost half of his fat. He converted his FAT-32 to FAT-16! That's quick loss of FAT for you. There was one more instance when he was beaten up blue and black outside the Pleasure Nagar RAM mandir when he commented "God is real, unless declared an integer."

He also has an uncanny habit of giving nerdy (read Fundu) answers. Take for instance this episode. During his campus interviews, the interviewer from a cloth mill jokefully asked "How many C++ programmers does it take to change a light bulb?". His reply was, "Sir, You're still thinking procedurally. A properly designed light bulb object would inherit a change method from a generic light bulb class, so all you'd have to do is send a light bulb change message". Hearing this the interviewer was flabbergasted and lost it completely. He offered his post to him and stepped down.

In an exclusive interview to IIPS Observer after being selected the Nerd of the Century in a function where he was presented a AngaVastra by a cloth mill he revealed his ten favourite things in life :

God : RAM
Food : Chip(s)
Sports : Surfing
Weapon : BaaN
Movie : Satya(m)
Fruit : Apple
Relatives : CMOS(ee) and (Tran)Sister
Band : Bandwidth
Animal : Mouse
Underwear : VIP MicroSoft

Senior citizen Mr.V.J. Kumar gave us some of the characteristics which have made him the Nerd of the century :

• When asked about a bus schedule, he wonders if it is 16 or 32 bits.
• When he counts, he goes "0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,A,B,C,D…".
• He dreams in 256 palettes of 256 colors. When trying to sleep, he thinks: sleep(8 3600); / sleep for 8 hours /
• When reading a book he looks for the scroll bar to get to the next page.
• After fooling around all day with routers etc, he picks up the phone and starts dialing an IP number.
• When getting into the elevator, he double-clicks the button for the floor he wants.
• Not only does he check his e-mail more often than his paper mail, but he remembers his network address faster than his postal one.
• He looks for an icon to double-click to open his bedroom window.
• He goes to balance his checkbook and discovers that he's doing the math in octal.
• He looks for a trash can icon for throwing garbage.

On the occasion of his 22nd birthday we the staff at IIPS Observer wish Lt. Bandicoot

Many Many
Happy Returns of the day!

and hope he has a bright and sparky (hopefully no more smoke) future with an infinite bandwidth and lots and lots of cloth.

Home | Legend | Observer | Photo Gallery | Video Gallery
Mailing List | Address Book

KoGT : The Website
Author and Designer Dinker Charak, Srivats P
Co-Author and Webmaster Shashank Banerjee